Paying Attention
Posted: August 8, 2009 at 1:23 pm | Tags: no judgements, observing, the world aroundObserving and listening
The thin girl with her mother searching for school clothes.
Mother says, “do they only make these pants in XX or husky? It’s so difficult sometimes to find clothes for my daughter, it seems the world is becoming naturally geared toward the overweight and obese. They tell me I have to find her clothes in the ’slim’ section, as if she is some kind of freakishly small person. She is normal and healthy a minority I suppose.”
In the parking lot at the Wal Mart on a Saturday before noon. I am located 1 car away and my windows are down, I am in a truck that sits high.
They park 3 rows away from each other. She is in her turquoise Trans Am. There is tape on many of the windows, grey and peeling. She is blasting her rap music, while yelling on her cell phone that she is in the second row of cars from the main road, first parking stall nearest the cart return.
30 seconds pass.
A man dressed in a sideways ball cap, sweat stained wife beater, and baggy jeans exposing his red checkered boxers, weaves in and out of cars heading in the direction of the woman in the Trans Am. As he approaches he is looking into each car he passes. He reaches the Trans Am and without a knock or hello enters the passenger side door.
The woman turns to him. They exchange words. The woman repositions her body so she is facing the man. The man reaches down and unbuttons his pants, and pulls his penis out. The woman proceeds to pleasure him to climax. The woman sits up and reaches behind her seat and pulls out what appears to be a little girls dress from a pile of laundry. She uses this pink fluffy thing to wipe her mouth and tosses it to the back again. The man hands the woman a small bag with white powder in it.
The man now zipped up, gets out of the Trans Am and walks back to where he came from, again weaving in and out of other parked cars looking into every window. The woman left only after dipping her head down into the seat next to her and sniffing. She brought her head up quickly and plugging each nostril one at a time inhaled fiercely. She then started her car and attempted clumsily to back out of her parking stall. The man got into his car and sat talking on his cell phone.
In my house.
The dog brings her ball inside the house. Her tail is wagging. She drops the ball in front of the 6yr old, she ignores the dog. The dog drops the ball in front of the 3 year old, he ignores the dog. the dog whines and uses her voice in some manner that is not quite a bark nor a whine, almost like a human grumbling. The dog picks up the ball again and drops it in front of the 2yr old boy. The dog speaks to the small child and the child looks at the dog and smiles, picks up the ball. He tells the dog to sit, the dog sits. The 2yr old throws the ball with all his might across the house and yells “get it.” The dog bounces happily toward the ball that only went 8 feet or so, and quickly returns to the smallest child. The child says to the dog, ” LEAVE IT…..GRRRRR”. The dog drops the ball and this little game continues for about 10 more minutes.
When the playing is done, the youngest boy and the dog lay down on the living room floor together.
The Discussion
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This new site is freakin’ awesome! It almost makes me want to build my site again. Almost. It was so loooong ago though that I wouldn’t remember how.
Anyways, this last entry is extremely well-written! I’m deeply sadden that anyone could live like that and subject their babies to it. I know it does happen, my parents were drug addicts but I just wish the human race would hurry up and get past this drug thing.
I love the part about Grey. What a sweet heart!!
Thanks for checking this site out and reading my post. It makes me feel good.
I may have been angered by what I saw in the parking lot a few days ago, but I’m in this whole no judging stage right now, so i had to just observe. Normally I might have called the cops, but really who was being harmed or wronged, besides society having to deal with the high woman driving.
The dog story warms my heart. I am so pleased with Greysins relationship with our dog.
I tried so hard not to judge, reading. I failed.
The first one? I know finding clothes for the super slim is hard – but they’re a minority. And if they’re *that* slim, they may not be healthy. The stores cater to the “norm”. And if it’s sizes 6-12 that are selling… well, that’s what they’re going to stock. The whole you can’t please everyone all the time.
The second? I was both angered and saddened by that. Angered, because of the obvious fact that she’d be driving herself in that condition – and saddened that that is her life.
The third? Just made me smile
Oh yes it is hard to not judge. I judged upon immediately experiencing each. But my goal was to allow that to wash away and only observe and experience.
that woman looking for clothes for her daughter, I tried to help her find things. Everything was XX. The thing is the stores only stock a small number of “regular” sized clothes because more of their customers are overweight. I told the lady, “do like we had to and call the store and find out when they first get their shipment of school uniforms and come on that day.
the parking lot event was a true test of my strength. My normal going about my day self would have been to, A: call the police and sit and watch it all fall apart, B: Lay on my horn until they both left, C: Straight up lean out my window and say something.
I am often moved passionately by people harming themselves or others to a point that I have put myself and my children in danger (chasing a purse snatcher in a get away car) I will have to post a copy of that one. woohoo it was a heart pounder….I was 9 months pregnant.
but my goal is to think first. to see the whole picture of things before jumping on it with all the answers. To remind myself that I don’t need to and shouldn’t fix everything. It will ground me so i can return to making better choices in the future.
the thing with my son and the dog. melted my dang heart. I was all pissy at first that the big kids didnt play with her, but i held my tongue and observed. I was starting to want to jump in and do something when Greysin saved the day, my sweet little man. If I had jumped in he would not have experienced that boding time with the dog. I was proud of me and him.