Dear Fearing Failure
Posted: October 20, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Dear Hopenminded,
My fear of failure is a crippling force in my life. How do I overcome it and gain the confidence that is needed to accomplish my goals and get the things in life that I am after?
thank you,
Fearing Failure
Dear Fearing Failure,
1. I got rid of assholes in my life that expected me to never make mistakes and when i did never forgave me.
2. I set myself up to WIN. Set smaller goals that you know you can accomplish and go ahead and feel good about doing it.
3. I connected with people that lifted me up and liked me no matter what (sure at one point that was only my husband)
4. Learn to love yourself. My son has a major problem with being a perfectionist and he completely shuts down when he doesnt do his artwork prefectly. If I let him go on his own he starts self hating. I told him, “instead of ripping that drawing up, step back from it, take a break and do something fun for yourself.” We sat and watch a dorky stoner movie and laughed our asses off and he was able to get back to his work with a new spirit.
5. If I do fail. I generally get back on that horse and try again. If its important to me and doesn’t cause me major stress.
I have failed going to college 3 times. I will not fail again. When I go the next time it will be because I know I’m ready and my life is ready for it….. and even then if something out of my control tears it all apart, I will get back on and push forward.
You dictate what is perfect. Why set yourself up to fail? Just figure out who you are and how you work and love yourself in what you find out about yourself.
seriously just adjust how you see PERFECT.
Hopenminded
The Discussion
see what everyone is saying
This is wonderful advice. “Perfect” really is in the eye of the beholder.
i know and maybe i need to learn to shrink my advice down to the basic and simple but sometimes a person needs my kind of blown out explanation…………I hope.