I have a problem. I recently tried to break up with my girlfriend. I wanted it to be peaceful and calm. I mean I do care about her. I wanted to be friends. I just couldn’t stay with her cause I’m only 16 and she is 13 and things were getting to serious. I wanted to meet other girls and sort of figure out what kind of person I really mix well with.
Um so here is the shitter. She flips out on me on random days for random reasons. I told her we could still be friends and we talk just as much as we used to. Like every night. She gets jealous when I don’t respond to her texts.
Well this crap keeps happening and she keeps trying to make me feel bad and now she is telling me she is pregnant. She said some horrible stuff to me, like she would abort the baby cause she hates the thought of someone living inside of her that has any part of me in it. Or she calls me and says she will keep it and never let me see it. She is freaking out and crying and saying awful things to me. I don’t know anything about how the girls body works, but she said she was on birth control before all this, now she says it must have not worked. I don’t know if that is true, can that happen?
I’m already upset that I didn’t use a condom and believed she was on birth control. I’m already upset that i may have created a human being at the age of 16yrs old, but I’m hurt even more that someone who says they love you can say such horrible things you. It seems like she never loved me at all if she can do this to me.
I don’t know what my parents will say or do. I’m sort of afraid to mention it to them. I haven’t mentioned this to any other people at all really. I am still in shock I think.
What do I do? Should I talk to her more? Should I ignore her? It all hurts so much and this is just too big for me to deal with alone.
any help is appreciated,
Young, Dumb and full of ……….
Dear Young,Dumb and full of……….,
Short version: Keep your dick covered from now on. Worry about school not screwing.
Now for the real deal on helping you cope. It’s very possible she is fabricating. It is so common for young girls and even some seriously stunted women to pull this shit when they feel they are losing a man. So don’t believe her fully until you see proof she is pregnant. Insist on going to a doctor appt with her, tell her you want to see this life you created. If she chooses to abort then offer to pay for half of it. Ask for the clinic name and call them and just ask how much it costs for an abortion so you get the right amount. Your looking at like 300 dollars just from you. If she refuses to take your money then she is most likely lying and will try to use the “fact” that she had an abortion to make you feel like shit later. But seriously if this is something that you believe would have happened recently then you should just wait a month or two. There really is nothing you can do if she is knocked up or if she is lying. Either way you need sleep,you need to go to school, and you need to live your life. Do those things. Take care of yourself and for Gods sake keep a fucking condom on if you screw around with any other girls. If you do that, then you always have the security of knowing no female can mess with you on this subject again.
Now for the emotional part of this game she is playing. People have a bad habit of trying to tear others down when they are feeling insecure or lonely or just shitty in general. It’s not that she didn’t ever love you, its just that she doesn’t love herself very much and doesn’t understand how to deal with her emotions. This is common and I’m sure if you search back in your mind you will remember many a time you have spoken harshly to someone you said you loved. Your love didn’t stop just because you told your sister she was stupid brat or when you told your mom you hated her, you were just expressing yourself the only way you knew how. The goal is to grow over time and no longer use attacks to try to heal your own frustration or pain. So try to understand that this very young girl has obviously taken on more than she can deal with. If she could deal with it properly she would not be in so much pain. This also leaves open the idea that you have taken on more than you can deal with, you may want to consider that you are just too young to be delving into sexual relationships right now. Now even if you take the sex out just a serious relationship could get dicey for you.
If you want the pain to stop, let it come without fighting it, be kind to the person hurting you without letting go of your self respect. When she tries to be dramatic and hurtful, just say you wont speak to her when she is acting that way and hang up. If it feels right, once you find out she is not pregnant cut off all ties with her. She has some serious issues to deal with and your too young to be her therapist.
Enjoy your youth using your brain not your dick. Feel free to email me again if you need more help.
You say the world sucks and is full of nothing but rapists and murderers. I know this is not going to go over well, but my dear that is what you see because that is all you choose to see. It’s confusing when you constantly complain about it, yet you refuse to see the beauty just around the corner. To constantly watch someone I love drag their own soul down into the fucking muck is tiresome. I wish I could spare you the turmoil and pain, but for whatever reason you need to experience life this way for now. I hope you get over it soon. I look forward to the day your repulsive view of the world turns to something more palatable. Until it does, I will keep on loving you and telling you when your being a Douchy McDoucher.
A sad and lost boy desperate for an angel to save him
+
A young woman sheltered so completely, she appeared angelic
=
a date rape
and a remainder of ONE (small innocent female)
Not wanted from conception……. abort abort abort! the banshees screech.
Lies told in the name of God…… Sinners! Sinners! Sinners !
A future of pain and sorrow set forth before birth
innocence scavenged at 3 years………a family tradition continues
change only brings more predators
then vultures came in masks of friendly deception
the babe was given no knowledge or weapons of defense
add the wolves devouring more than their “share”
she was left for dead
but her heart never stopped beating, her mind never stopped searching, her spirit never stopped soaring
She clawed and she scraped and she prayed and she fought and she cried and she forgave and she loved and she never let go of the soul created, even before conception.
The spirit that was breathed into her by her maker, before all the pain, before all the defiling she was pure and loved.
A love that is bigger and louder and brighter than any darkness this world can dish out.
“no don’t do that, you can’t do that, your too small. Don’t you know you just can’t do that. Your not big enough, No….NO…..NO…..NO” Repeat this same sort of thing OVER and OVER for 10 straight minutes.
In line to return something
“Miss Know it all to her companion:
” Yeah I have to return this shirt, I won’t dare try something on HERE….ewww, I was surprised they even carried a brand like this, suppose it serves me right for shopping here though they probably got all the misshapen items to be cheaper. “
(SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH)
“Can you believe Helen brought that man to the BBQ last night, she just met him and she was already slow dancing with him. I would never do thaaaat…ughhh. She is too old to be acting like a young school girl. She has no class. That man is going to take her for a ride for sure.That is exactly why I just don’t date anymore, they are all liars and users.”
(SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH)
“My sister says she is going to send her kids to public school. I tried to tell her what a huge mistake that was but she just kept saying how expensive private school is and they are barely scraping by. Oh sure they are scraping by, I saw they bought a new boat for when they go camping…..maybe they should just sell that boat and one of there cars and they could do right by those kids and send them to a proper school. I’m so glad I don’t have kids, but if i did I sure wouldn’t screw them up like she is. You know you have to make certain sacrifices if you want to be a good parent.”
(SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH)
“I saw this lady in the store the other day. She had this brat screaming in her cart pulling everything off the shelves. I was so pleased to see some REAL parenting when she pulled herself out of that line and took the child to the side and spanked him. You just don’t see people do that anymore and its a shame. You know that is why we have such horrible juvenile delinquents running around everywhere.
Huh just yesterday one of them came to my door, ignoring my no solicitors sign, and giving me some sob story about needing to raise money for his football team, he had a plastic tub full of candy bars. OH PLEEEEEASE, like i would buy candy bars off some dirty hoodlum who rang my bell. If he really was from a football team they should tell them to dress in nicer clothes when they go out begging…ughhhh.”
The companion then said, “Oh Abby SHUT UP!”
In Target:
3 year old girl: “I’m tired.”
her mother: ignores her, and continues talking into her blue tooth
3year old girl: “mama, I’m tired and my legs hurt.”
her mother: ignores her, still chatting on the blue tooth
3 year old girl: ” mama………..mamaaa MY LEGS REALLY HURT!”
her mother: “uh huh, thats nice honey” back to the blue tooth
3year old girl: sits on her butt in the isle, screams at her mom, “I can’t walk.”
her mother: had just got off the blue tooth and says, ” OH WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU RETARDED OR SOMETHING?” She then swoops the child up violently and tosses her in the cart, and says, “there now shut up retard.”
Oh these people are making it so hard to not place judgment. I want so bad to speak up, to help, to do anything to bring a different feeling to these situations. Normally I would. Normally I am able to bring things around to a more pleasant experience for all. I wonder how long I am going to be in need of keeping my mouth shut and just listening and observing. It’s killing me. I am starting to feel better. I have a healthy grasp of my role in the world again, but a few more days will still be good for me.
I am not big on writing but a friend told me to give you a try because you helped him.
I am a 52 year old man. I have 3 kids they are 17,15 and 13years. My wife has a business she runs and it keeps her pretty busy. I am in good shape for my age and have always been very active and upbeat.
Until recently
The kids don’t want to hang out with old dad anymore. We used to have lots of fun going to ball games and fishing and paint ball, but ever since my wife started her business and its become successful things have changed.
Before we both worked and the kids had the basics and any extra was put away for school or family trips. But everyone was always happy and we were always together. Now that my wife is doing so well, I don’t really even need to go to work and she buys the kids everything they have ever wanted. I feel like I have been replaced by I-phones and video games. I dont see my boys anymore except when they come home to change clothes.
I find myself bored, staring at porn or going to work and being in a haze all day. My job is nothing special, I don’t dislike it and I don’t love it. I don’t want to be intimate with my wife, even if she did have the time for me. Food doesn’t really taste good anymore to me.
I don’t know what really happened here. Over the last year I have gone from being a happy, active father who is very involved in his kids lives and I enjoyed a healthy sex life with my wife to a bored, sad, and flabby little man.
What can I do to get out of this slump?
Needing a change,
Lonely Old Fart
Dear Lonely Old Fart,
Hello and thank you for writing to me. I would like to start off by saying that all I say to you comes from a place of love and respect. As your friend may have told you I am a straight shooter so there will be no fluff here. You don’t have time for fluff. It sounds to me like your sinking into a self imposed depression. Your life changed and you were set in your ways. You were safe and somewhat boring. Now things have gotten bigger and everyone is busy, too busy for you.
Don’t be disheartened. You can turn this around. I would like to see you take on the same style of changes as the rest of your family. I know at first it might feel uncomfortable but I think my suggestions will grow on you and which ever feels most natural will be successful.
Remember these are only suggestions. I want you to sit with them for a while and really feel out which ones feel good to you.
1: get yourself a cell phone if you don’t have one and learn how to text your kids. If this is their current mode of communication, it might just grab their attention.
2: stay clear of the porn for now. if your down, porn is like pot or booze, its downer and it will only bring you down farther. Porn should be saved for the fully strong and healthy just as pot and booze.
3: talking to your wife again about how you feel. If she can’t make time for you in her busy schedule then sneak into her organizer or schedule and put yourself in there for a 3 or 4 hour slot. Give yourself some fake business name and have the location of the meeting be at some restaurant that you know would be helpful to starting those marital flames again.
4: quit your job (if it truly has no positive benefit in your life)
5: explore educational opportunities in your area. Its never too late for you to learn a new trade or just take some classes in something you have always been interested in but couldn’t pursue because your family needed you to work.
6: your kids are still your kids. If you must put your foot down then do it. Tell them each that you have chosen a specific day and you will be doing something on that day with them no excuses out of them on how they can’t.
7. if putting your foot down just isn’t your thing, then continue on a path of finding what you enjoy doing. Make sure you share the adventures at home. Either by leaving out pictures of you bungee jumping or a painting you finished or a video of you racing a motorcycle around a track…..something anything just make sure they know your living your life and want them to check it out. Eventually the newness of the cell phones and other toys and friends will wear off and the solid relationship you have built over the years will resurface.
8. after the romantic meeting with your wife schedule another with her (if you still need to) to discuss how much you miss her and maybe you can help ease some of her busy work so she too has more time to be physically involved in the family instead of just throwing toys and money at everyone. I wonder if she is doing well enough now to hire someone to help her.
9: If the above changes all feel too big for you, then start with small things. For people who have trouble with change its best to start on the smallest level and move up. So start with changing your toothpaste or coffee or start getting your car washed at a different place, heck live on the wild side and check out that new Moroccan restaurant that just opened up.
You get what I’m saying here. Don’t stay stagnant. Move and change with your family. They have moved without you not because they left you behind but because you have kept yourself back. It is up to you to make the changes needed to remind them and yourself of the great relationship you had and will have.
Good luck with all the changes. Let me know if you need anymore help. Please let me know how this works out for you.
The thin girl with her mother searching for school clothes.
Mother says, “do they only make these pants in XX or husky? It’s so difficult sometimes to find clothes for my daughter, it seems the world is becoming naturally geared toward the overweight and obese. They tell me I have to find her clothes in the ’slim’ section, as if she is some kind of freakishly small person. She is normal and healthy a minority I suppose.”
In the parking lot at the Wal Mart on a Saturday before noon. I am located 1 car away and my windows are down, I am in a truck that sits high.
They park 3 rows away from each other. She is in her turquoise Trans Am. There is tape on many of the windows, grey and peeling. She is blasting her rap music, while yelling on her cell phone that she is in the second row of cars from the main road, first parking stall nearest the cart return.
30 seconds pass.
A man dressed in a sideways ball cap, sweat stained wife beater, and baggy jeans exposing his red checkered boxers, weaves in and out of cars heading in the direction of the woman in the Trans Am. As he approaches he is looking into each car he passes. He reaches the Trans Am and without a knock or hello enters the passenger side door.
The woman turns to him. They exchange words. The woman repositions her body so she is facing the man. The man reaches down and unbuttons his pants, and pulls his penis out. The woman proceeds to pleasure him to climax. The woman sits up and reaches behind her seat and pulls out what appears to be a little girls dress from a pile of laundry. She uses this pink fluffy thing to wipe her mouth and tosses it to the back again. The man hands the woman a small bag with white powder in it.
The man now zipped up, gets out of the Trans Am and walks back to where he came from, again weaving in and out of other parked cars looking into every window. The woman left only after dipping her head down into the seat next to her and sniffing. She brought her head up quickly and plugging each nostril one at a time inhaled fiercely. She then started her car and attempted clumsily to back out of her parking stall. The man got into his car and sat talking on his cell phone.
In my house.
The dog brings her ball inside the house. Her tail is wagging. She drops the ball in front of the 6yr old, she ignores the dog. The dog drops the ball in front of the 3 year old, he ignores the dog. the dog whines and uses her voice in some manner that is not quite a bark nor a whine, almost like a human grumbling. The dog picks up the ball again and drops it in front of the 2yr old boy. The dog speaks to the small child and the child looks at the dog and smiles, picks up the ball. He tells the dog to sit, the dog sits. The 2yr old throws the ball with all his might across the house and yells “get it.” The dog bounces happily toward the ball that only went 8 feet or so, and quickly returns to the smallest child. The child says to the dog, ” LEAVE IT…..GRRRRR”. The dog drops the ball and this little game continues for about 10 more minutes.
When the playing is done, the youngest boy and the dog lay down on the living room floor together.
Time to be quiet. Time to listen and observe others. Time to focus on everyone else but myself.
I AM BLIND
When my world seems too much for me to take, and everything whirls around in a hurricane. Things I fancy in my control slip from my grasp. I am unable to make sense of or find solutions to dilemas. In most cases I create these issues, just to have something to solve. In my desire to be important or needed, I create a monster that no one wants around, not even myself. I begin to complain about my life, and ask others how to solve the problems. I talk too much of my downfalls and inability to control all that is swimming around. My mind races and I am no longer my true self.
I CAN SEE
The world is not spinning around me, I am spinning around it. I am busily fluttering over everything I consider “my domain” and I am telling myself that this is all something I should be taking care of.
This happens once or twice a year. I know its time to refocus my attention on others. I have lost my way from peace and comfort. I do not like this state I have put myself in.
So I will be quiet, I will observe more and listen intently without judgment or the desire to repair. I am a healer to those who seek healing, when times are slow I shall not create something or someone to heal.
When you constantly feel like your life is going in circles and nothing is changing or getting better, it’s because it is going in circles.
You analyse your “shit” and see what needs improvement.
You make lists and flimsy attempts to repair old damage and create new platforms to hoist yourself up to, but you fail fail fail.
You begin to feel sorry for yourself.
You ask others why things aren’t getting better.
They don’t have the damn answers, you dolt. You have all the answers. You were born with them. It’s your life, you have to put forward the real and difficult changes needed to break out of that circle and create a new future.
Or continue to sit in your circle playing footsie with yourself wondering why your life sucks.
It’s as if you are still in school and you got lazy and cocky thinking you knew all the answers so you didn’t need to study. You get in and take the test and fail miserably and next year wonder why you have to take algebra over again.
Get it? Its all like that. A lesson. Learn it. Move on to the next one.
I get these spectacular ideas from my everyday life and inspirations from wonderful writers. I feel the ideas well up inside of me and grow, like a flower being filmed on some nature show in fast forward. The seed is planted, the bud peeks out of the ground and before you know it you have a full on stem and leaf unfurling itself for all to see and all this within 30 seconds or so. That is how my ideas blossom. One problem, I’m scatter brained and unorganized. I get too many ideas and think they are all the bee’s knees but before I get a chance to write them down or even jot a note on my had to recall the inspiration for later blogging, something comes along to distract, dismay or detour my enlightenment.
Currently I have a severe double ear infection my eustation tubes are full and I can’t hear anyone unless they are looking right at me. My own words spoken are like a booming Megaphone only I can hear. When your voice is that loud, you realize you talk to damn much and maybe what you have to say really is not that important. I long for silence.
So I sit and I wait for my hearing to come back so I can once again fill my mind, my hand, my scraps of paper, and my blog with my mind boggling epiphanies and clusterfucks of spiffy ideas. I swear I have been having pages upon pages of mind blowing ideas. Unfortunately my illness and all my nagging children leave me with only the shitter invention. So it’s all yours.
To keep things visually interesting here is my latest “clusterfuck” of an idea. Personally I don’t think its such a bad idea. Of course my family laughs at me.
We are planning a roughin‘ it camping trip. The camp site does provide port-o-potties. I refuse to use a shared-shit-shack, that’s just nasty as hell. My husband doesn’t believe in spending a lot of money. So I have to get inventive using very little money sometimes.
Here you go:
First you need a head strap light(for those night trips to the shitter)
You need a 5 or 7 gallon bucket with the bottom cut out (so your shit can fall to the hole you have dug in the ground)
Use an old wire hanger to create a toilet paper holder and some toilet paper. Get your kids toilet ring so they don’t fall in. Or you can go to your local R.E.I and get one of these.
You put it all together and you have sanitary shitters for you and your family.
Don’t forget to buy a mini shovel for those shit holes
For my frugal husband, all this only cost us 9 bucks……the cost of the head light. Which I’m sure we will find many other uses for. The rest of it, we already had around the house. Unless you decide to chip in for the fancy potty seat for 12.99. Oooohh we could be livin‘ large darlin‘.
